A night of great inner mess.

I CAN'T FALL ASLEEP. THIS IS NO GOOD AT ALL BECAUSE I AM REALLY SLEEPY BUT THE MOMENT I SHUT MY EYES, STUPID FLASHBACKS SURFACE IN MY MIND I HATE THIS URGH.

I can't believe I am still affected/feeling extremely fed up with myself/really worried for GP up till now!!! Plus, I'm not one who usually cares/broods over such stuff for so long, simply because there is no point in doing so. Whatever's been done is done AS MUCH AS I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO I CAN'T FRIGGIN STEAL MY GP SCRIPT AWAY FROM MOE AT THIS JUNCTURE AND JUST CLAIM THAT MY SCRIPT HAD GONE MISSING AHHHHHHHHHHH. I doubt I'll be able to actually enjoy my three months of vacation (quite sure I have to retake right now) with this guilt not wanting to go away. I am just praying really hard that there'll be a miracle, committing all these into the Lord's hands.

Bumped into someone I probably dont really want to meet today, triggering quite a deal of memories last year WHICH I CLEARLY AM HIGHLY RELUCTANT TO RECALL YET CAN'T SEEM TO GET IN OUT OF MY TINY BRAIN FOR MORE SPACE FOR ACADEMICS PURPOSES, but anyway! It sucked, what's new. Last year really appears to be so distant right now, so much has changed I can barely catch up. There are a particular few friendships i truly wana mend but have no clue as to how to go about doing it. To literally put unhappy memories behind us ain't as easy as promising to is.

In desperate need of some shuteye now, but I don't want nightmares of my GP script, the scene of having to retake As and the not-so-glad recollections in the past two years dominating my sleep tonight.