Dont need another perfect lie.

Kinda broke my no-lunch record in the longest while, the last time i did this was probably in sec three? And I'm pretty sure it was because i lost all my appetite due to the backstab incident hm. It's happening again I think, well not exactly because of the same reasons but the point is, MY APPETITE HAS BEEN SO BAD. I can only blame school for that. Can't believe I only get hungry coming the last few periods of school, I comfort myself thinking: size zero here I come. But eww no I dont wana have to feel miserable again just to get my regular eating timings back like how I did.

Anyway, my body clock is still pretty much in a mess as well- I slept the entire afternoon away today, likewise for monday and wednesday, I literally had to drag myself out of bed to meet Alex on monday and cancelled plans w Ginnie on wed ): Pathetic much.

Oh yes, and I've been feeling so unmotivated recently I either slept through lessons or just stoned throughout. What a waste of my time but thank God I had my ipod's company. Its so bad, Andre's spending time on msn trying to psycho me, Wina and Iggy are so against my amazing plan, Sihui and my parents think I should just endure this rubbish for another year and shrivel up and die mentally and sk's forcing me to go study early tomorrow because I told him to promote without me hehehe. STUDYING STINKS. Especially when I know all this makes so much sense but I just dont wana admit cause I've never felt this pessimistic regarding everything. I mean it, really. Well I am really passive when it comes to stuff that matter idk why, cant bring myself to clear up the air, yknow it feels like I lose. I DETEST LOSING BTW.

Even stuff like clearing my inbox, I know very well how much I rely on my phone yet instead of doing it myself, Alex, Jamie and Joneh were the ones who helped themselves to deleting the text messages in MY inbox. Omg what a loser I am right, i know. A pity the messages deleted were the more recent ones, my heart kinda sank when i found out. I actually do read the old messages you sent me. I seriously dont understand why the black faces and the change in attitude from the two of you, its freaking awful to receive all this nonsense from people I actually care about and not knowing the reason why. Seriously, however the others may treat me i dont care at all really, I'm like that and no I'm not gonna pretend like everythings fine when it blatantly isn't.

Okay, I should go sleep now cause i have to be awake by ten. Four hours of sleep left gahhhh. AND TENG AH WHYWHYWHY YOU OVERSLEEP JUST NOWWW I WAS WAITING FOR YOU YKNOW ): I AM DEPRESSED AND I NEEDA POKE FUN AT YOU TO GET THROUGH THE NEXT WEEK AHEAD. I DON'T HAVE ANY CONFIDENCE TO CONITNUE WITH THIS ANYMORE NO.